Watching a son struggle with addiction can be one of the most challenging experiences a parent can face. The mix of emotions — fear, frustration, helplessness, and hope — can be overwhelming. As parents, we want to protect our children, but addiction requires specialized help beyond what most families can provide at home.
At JourneyPure At The River, we’ve guided countless families through this difficult process. This guide aims to provide parents with practical strategies for getting their sons the help they need while preserving the parent-child relationship during this critical time.
Recognizing the Signs of Addiction in Young Men
Before approaching your son about treatment, it’s important to identify the signs that indicate a substance use disorder rather than typical young adult behavior. Men often display addiction differently than women, and recognizing these patterns is the first step toward getting help.
Physical Signs
- Unexplained weight loss or gain
- Bloodshot eyes or dilated pupils
- Deterioration in physical appearance or personal grooming
- Sleep pattern changes (sleeping too much or insomnia)
- Slurred speech or impaired coordination
Behavioral Signs
- Increased secrecy or defensiveness about activities
- New friend groups and avoiding longtime friends
- Financial problems or unexplained need for money
- Legal issues, such as DUIs or possession charges
- Declining performance at work or school
- Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
Psychological Signs
- Mood swings, irritability, or angry outbursts
- Decreased motivation
- Appearing fearful, anxious, or paranoid without reason
- Lack of focus or concentration
Many young men exhibit some of these behaviors as part of normal development or stress response. However, multiple signs occurring together or significant changes in behavior often indicate a substance use problem that requires professional attention.
Approaching the Conversation About Treatment
How you initiate the conversation about addiction treatment can significantly impact your son’s receptiveness to getting help. Here are strategies that improve the chances of a productive discussion:
Choose the Right Moment
Timing is crucial when discussing sensitive topics like addiction. Approach your son when:
- He is sober and clear-headed
- You’re both calm, not in the middle of an argument
- You have privacy and won’t be interrupted
- There’s enough time for a full conversation without rushing
Use Compassionate, Non-Accusatory Language
The words you choose can open doors or create barriers. Focus on:
- Using “I” statements rather than “you” accusations (“I’ve noticed” vs. “You always”)
- Expressing concern rather than disappointment
- Avoiding labels like “addict,” “alcoholic,” or “junkie”
- Speaking from a place of love and support, not anger or frustration
Present Specific Observations
Vague accusations are easy to dismiss. Instead, reference specific instances that concern you:
- “I noticed you missed three days of work last week and called in sick.”
- “I found empty liquor bottles in your car twice this month.”
- “Your friends have called me worried about how much you’re using.”
Listen Without Judgment
After expressing your concerns, give your son space to respond. Practice active listening by:
- Allowing him to speak without interruption
- Acknowledging his perspective even if you disagree
- Asking open-ended questions to understand his view of the situation
- Resisting the urge to lecture or moralize
Focus on Health and Future, Not Past Mistakes
Frame treatment as an opportunity for growth and healing rather than punishment for past behavior. Discuss how addressing addiction now opens doors for his future goals and aspirations.
Handling Resistance and Denial
Resistance to treatment is common, especially among young men who may view accepting help as a sign of weakness. Here’s how to navigate this challenging aspect:
Understand the Psychology Behind Resistance
Resistance often stems from:
- Fear of the unknown (what treatment will be like)
- Denial about the severity of the problem
- Concerns about social stigma
- Anxiety about withdrawal symptoms
- Worry about falling behind in work or education
Recognizing these underlying fears helps you address them compassionately rather than taking resistance personally.
Educate About Modern Treatment Approaches
Many people have outdated or movie-influenced perceptions of addiction treatment. Share information about:
- Evidence-based treatments available today
- The comfortable, retreat-like environment at quality centers like JourneyPure At The River
- How treatment addresses underlying issues, not just substance use
- The peer community and support available
Address Specific Concerns
Ask what specific objections your son has to treatment and address each one specifically:
- For work concerns: Discuss FMLA options and how many employers support recovery
- For education worries: Explore medical leave options from college or how to return after treatment
- For social concerns: Explain the confidentiality protections in treatment
Set Healthy Boundaries
While compassion is essential, so are clear boundaries. Consider:
- Stopping financial support that enables substance use
- Setting clear expectations about living arrangements
- Defining consequences if treatment is refused and harmful behavior continues
Communicate that these boundaries come from love and concern, not punishment.
Consider Professional Guidance for the Conversation
If initial conversations aren’t productive, consider involving:
- An addiction counselor experienced in family discussions
- Your son’s primary care physician who can discuss health impacts
- A trusted mentor or family friend your son respects
Understanding Intervention Options
When conversations don’t lead to acceptance of treatment, a more structured approach may be necessary. There are several intervention models to consider:
Family Intervention
The traditional model brings together family and close friends to express concern and present treatment options. This approach:
- Is carefully planned and rehearsed
- Involves a professional interventionist to guide the process
- Includes specific examples of how addiction has affected relationships
- Presents a unified message about the need for treatment
CRAFT Approach (Community Reinforcement and Family Training)
This evidence-based alternative to confrontational interventions focuses on:
- Teaching family members new ways to communicate
- Creating consequences for continued use
- Reinforcing sober behavior
- Improving the quality of life for both the person with addiction and the family
Professional Support for Interventions
However you approach intervention, professional guidance improves outcomes. JourneyPure At The River can connect you with experienced interventionists who:
- Help prepare family members for the emotional nature of interventions
- Mediate the conversation to keep it productive
- Provide immediate transport to treatment if your son agrees
- Offer guidance on next steps if initial intervention doesn’t succeed
Navigating Legal Considerations
In some situations, legal avenues may be necessary to get your son the help he needs, particularly if he’s a danger to himself or others.
Involuntary Commitment
While requirements vary by state, most states allow for temporary involuntary commitment for mental health or substance use treatment when an individual:
- Presents an immediate danger to self or others
- Is unable to provide for basic needs due to substance use
- Requires treatment but lacks capacity to make that decision
In Tennessee, where JourneyPure At The River is located, the process involves:
- Filing a petition with the local court
- Providing evidence of the need for commitment
- A judicial hearing (which can be expedited in emergency situations)
Court-Ordered Treatment
If your son faces legal troubles related to substance use, the court may order treatment as an alternative to incarceration. This can include:
- Drug court programs
- Probation requirements that include treatment
- Diversion programs for first-time offenders
Legal Guardianship
For adult children with severely impaired decision-making capacity due to substance use, parents may petition for guardianship. This is typically considered only in extreme cases where the individual cannot make any safe decisions for themselves.
Consulting Legal Professionals
These options require proper legal guidance. Consider consulting:
- An attorney specializing in mental health law
- Your county’s mental health services department
- The admissions team at JourneyPure At The River, who can provide resources specific to your situation
JourneyPure At The River: Specialized TreatmenT
Understanding what treatment will entail can help both you and your adult son feel more comfortable with the process. JourneyPure At The River offers specialized programming that addresses the unique needs of young men:
Comprehensive Assessment
Treatment begins with a thorough evaluation to identify:
- Substance use patterns and severity
- Co-occurring mental health conditions like anxiety or depression
- Physical health concerns
- Trauma history
- Family dynamics
- Educational and vocational needs
Gender-Responsive Treatment
Our approach recognizes that men often:
- Process emotions and communicate differently than women
- Face unique societal pressures and expectations
- Benefit from certain therapeutic approaches that address male-specific issues
Evidence-Based Therapies
Your son will participate in proven therapeutic modalities, including:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
- Motivational Interviewing
- Trauma-informed care
- Adventure therapy and experiential learning
Life Skills Development
Treatment includes practical skill-building for sustainable recovery:
- Stress management techniques
- Communication skills
- Financial responsibility
- Educational and vocational planning
- Healthy lifestyle habits
Family Support and Involvement
At JourneyPure At The River, we recognize that addiction affects the entire family system, and healing requires family involvement. Our family program includes:
Family Therapy Sessions
- Structured sessions with your son and a family therapist
- Communication skills development
- Addressing family dynamics that may contribute to substance use
- Healing past hurts and rebuilding trust
Family Education Program
- Understanding addiction as a brain disease
- Learning about co-dependency and enabling behaviors
- Developing healthy boundary-setting skills
- Planning for your son’s return home after treatment
Continuing Support for Parents
- Parent support groups
- Resources for your own self-care and healing
- Guidance on supporting recovery without enabling
- Connection with other parents who understand your experience
Preparing for Treatment Success
Once your son agrees to treatment, several steps can help ensure a smooth transition:
Logistical Preparation
- Work with JourneyPure At The River to verify insurance coverage
- Arrange transportation to the facility
- Help gather appropriate clothing and permitted personal items
- Assist with responsibilities he’ll need to pause during treatment (bills, pets, etc.)
Emotional Preparation
- Reassure him of your support throughout the process
- Acknowledge the courage it takes to seek help
- Set realistic expectations about the treatment experience
- Prepare yourself for potential emotional ups and downs during his treatment
Addressing Practical Concerns
- Work with his employer on leave arrangements
- Contact educational institutions about medical leave options
- Ensure his living situation remains secure during treatment
Get Treatment
Getting your son into addiction treatment requires patience, compassion, and often, persistence. Remember that addiction is a complex brain disease, not a moral failing or lack of willpower. With the right approach and support, you can help guide your son toward the professional help he needs.
The journey doesn’t end when treatment begins—it transforms into a new phase of healing and growth for both your son and your family. By understanding the process, preparing thoughtfully, and utilizing available resources, you’re taking crucial steps toward helping your son reclaim his life from addiction.
At JourneyPure At The River, we’re committed to supporting not just the individual in treatment, but the entire family system. Our comprehensive approach addresses addiction’s physical, emotional, and social aspects while providing the specialized care young men need to build lasting recovery.
Ready to Help Your Son Begin His Recovery Journey?
Our compassionate admissions team is available 24/7 to answer your questions, address concerns, and guide you through the process of getting your son the help he deserves.
Call us today at 615-410-9260 to speak with an admissions specialist about how JourneyPure At The River can help your family heal.
