When Kim C. takes out her cell phone, she’s constantly greeted with acronyms for hope.
Hold On Pain Ends
Hang On Peace Exists
Having Only Positive Expectations
Help Open People’s Eyes
HOPE is my mantra.
These words remind her of where she has been but more importantly they keep her focused on where she is going.
Kim didn’t want to go to treatment. When she arrived at JourneyPure at the River she felt like she was abandoned at a downtown bus stop. She was alone, scared and angry. But after seven years of an alcohol problem that progressively worsened, her husband provided the ultimatum she now credits with saving her life.
Living Two Lives
What started as celebratory drinking evolved into much more by the time Kim turned 40. From the outside, people knew her as a wife and PTA mom. A self-described anal retentive and organized person, Kim says the more she let the alcohol take over, the more her household routine diminished. She found herself drinking just to function every day. Once social, she now avoided people for fear they would smell the alcohol on her breath.
“I had an image to maintain,” she said. “But with the low self-esteem, there was a feeling you didn’t quite fit in, that you weren’t good enough. You weren’t affluent enough.”
Kim remembers moving money in the household budget to make sure she could have alcohol on-hand. She would lie about the costs of groceries just to slip in that extra bottle of wine. And she was coming up with creative ways to hide her stash like carrying a large tote-bag purse to conceal bottles she bought and bottles she’d throw away.
“Somebody told me I had gotten to the point that my soul had just become black,” she said. “My selfishness, my self-centeredness. That’s what this stuff does. You will beg, borrow, steal to get your next drink, your next fix. I endangered so many innocent lives.”
Hope for Recovery at JourneyPure
Once Kim knew she would be at JourneyPure for the duration, she started taking part in the programs, meetings and experiential therapies. She was surrounded by women of different races, socioeconomic backgrounds and realized that everyone was there for the same reason. She learned a lot about herself during these sessions.
“Sometimes when you don’t outside distractions, you can really look at yourself – even though I didn’t want to because it hurt too much. I was broken. I was shattered yet I didn’t want to stop drinking.”
At that point, Kim recalls having one of those lightbulb moments, thinking “why not just pray for the willingness to want to stop drinking?” Baby steps, she thought, putting more and more trust in the staff and the experience. Kim slowly went from angry to accepting and embraced all that JourneyPure had to offer.
“I found some peace,” she remembers. “Peace is not always joy. Sometimes peace is ‘I can handle any obstacles and be okay’.”
Six Months Strong
In August, Kim reached her six-month mark in recovery. She attends regular meetings outside of JourneyPure where she says she has found acceptance and strength by bonding with others who have faced similar challenges. She uses the JourneyPure Coaching™ app to track her wellness and recovery goals
“JourneyPure helped save my life. They gave me the guidance I needed to feel out my needs. But you’re going to have to want it. Even if it means barely wanting it, because that means hope.”
Chris Clancy is the in-house Content Manager for JourneyPure’s Digital Marketing team, where he gets to explore a wide variety of substance abuse- and mental health-related topics. He has more than 20 years’ experience as a journalist and researcher, with strong working knowledge of hospital systems, health insurance, content strategy, and public relations. He lives in Nashville with his wife and two kids.