Am I a Bad Mom?

Written by Jackie Calkins

If you are a drinker or use drugs, you may be wondering – am i a bad mom? The truth is that you probably aren’t a bad mom, you just have a bad disease. It is a medical condition just like cancer, diabetes, heart disease, PTSD and a range of other conditions. It is chronic, but treatable. 

There are a number of mothers who abuse alcohol and/or drugs to deal with the mundane and complex areas of motherhood. Whether you are consuming a few glasses of wine before bed or going out and doing drugs with friends to cope with the stress of motherhood, the addiction is taking a toll on your life. You are feeling it which is why you are wondering whether you are a bad mom. 

The good news is there are addiction treatments here at Journey Pure at the River. Contact us today to find out more about the treatments that would work best for your addiction. 

Motherhood Stressors

Why does addiction seem to hit in motherhood? Did you avoid abusing alcohol and drugs before you became a mother? Do you wonder why you are all of a sudden having the urge to get drunk or high? It could be due to the number or various stressors in motherhood. Some of these stressors include:

  • Developmental issues
  • Your child’s education
  • Family pressures
  • Financial stress
  • Cleaning 
  • Intimate relationships
  • Friendships or lack thereof
  • Your professional life
  • Cooking


Society has made it normal to say things such as “wine is cheaper than therapy” and “mommy needs her drinks”, so mcuh so, that many mothers lean toward the bottle daily. Especially so, with busy mothers who just want to escape at the end of the day. 

Another reason why you may have developed an addiction in motherhood is that you want to be the fun mom. Maybe, you started drinking to show your friends that you were still fun to hang out with, especially if they didn’t have kids yet and said you were a bore when you got pregnant or had your kid. These pressures are unfair and unrealistic. 

If you did develop an addiction later in life or whenever you became a mother, you are not alone. You can reach out to our Journey Pure at the River team for help right away. 

Negative Effects of Alcohol and Drugs on Your Health

While you likely already know that alcohol and drugs damage your health, our team would still like to touch on this a bit. Some mothers don’t realize how badly alcohol and drugs can damage their health. When you are a mother, you would do anything for your children. However, if you become seriously ill, it will be very difficult to do that.

Some of the negative effects of alcohol and drugs on your health, according to the Center for Disease Control, include: 

  • Higher risk of death
  • Liver damage
  • Cirrhosis
  • Many types of cancer
  • Heart disease
  • Cognitive issues

It is important to realize that when you quit drinking, your overall health will begin to improve. For instance, you may notice more light in your eyes, healthier skin, more energy, less anxiety, normalized blood pressure and much more. 

If you want those positive health improvements, but can’t seem to quit drinking on your own (which you don’t even have to try because we want to help), you can contact our team today to get into a treatment program. 

The Drinking Mother and the Family it Affects

Unfortunately, alcohol and drug abuse can negatively affect your children. There are many behavioral, character-based and developmental issues that can occur in your children, especially if you abused alcohol. Some of the issues that may present themselves in your children include:

  • Risk-taking behavior
  • Abusing alcohol or drugs themselves
  • Higher risk of being abused 
  • Not connecting well with others emotionally
  • Academic and/or learning delays
  • Low self-esteem

With this being said, you are not a bad mom just because you drink or use drugs. However, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t stop abusing these substances. It may take years of therapy and other addiction treatments to help you overcome your addiction, but you can start getting sober today with the help of our Journey Pure at the River team. 

Healthy Tips to Cope with Life in Motherhood

When you do enter a sober and recovering lifestyle here at Journey Pure at the River, you are going to learn and practice some healthy tips to cope with life in motherhood. These tips are going to help you get and stay sober and live a healthier lifestyle overall, too. Some of the best and healthiest tips to begin coping with life in motherhood and to help you stop feeling like a bad mom are:

  • Going for a walk when you are stressed
  • Calling a friend or family member to vent 
  • Taking a long, hot bath at the end of the day to relax
  • Taking a class or reading a book to do something for yourself
  • Napping when you feel exhausted
  • Listening to your favorite music on full blast when you are in the car alone

Motherhood is hard and just because you feel like a bad mom, doesn’t mean you are one. Even if you are abusing alcohol or drugs, that doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids and it doesn’t mean you aren’t a good, caring mother. 

However, if you can get into a life of sobriety and recovery, you can have the comfort of knowing that you are doing what is best for you and your kids. You want to be and are trying to be the best, healthiest mother you can be for your children and yourself. By getting sober and into recovery, it is going to help you have less stress, less anxiety, more confidence, more energy and so many other positive impacts to your life. 

Get Help Today if You Feel Like a Bad Mom

Are you feeling like a bad mom because you abuse alcohol or drugs? First of all, know that being a perfect mom isn’t possible – nobody is perfect – not doctors, not fathers, not mothers, not teachers, not any other human. 

However, if you are feeling like a bad mom because you abuse alcohol or drugs, now is the time to take the first step to getting clean and sober and into recovery. Call Journey Pure at the River at (615) 410-9260 to step into an addiction treatment program that will best fit your needs.